Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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