Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
