I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
