just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hippo gnu deer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize