What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
