we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
