Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
