I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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