Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
