Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
