no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
