i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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