who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
