I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize