are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
