It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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