There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
