I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
