we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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