Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
