she woke up with a sticky ear
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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