i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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