Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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