I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
no, he came in my armpit
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
