turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
