i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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