i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
