Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
