yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
