he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Bring me that man meat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
