dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
