The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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