You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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