Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We need to rekindle our bromance
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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