But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
