i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
