tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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