I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
