It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
honey bunches of taint.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
