I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
