No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
