Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
