there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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