In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
