I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
