and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
there is glitter all over my balls
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
