guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
