Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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