My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
