i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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