Jerry, you need to find god
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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